Wednesday, September 10, 2008

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

My friends,
I am relieved and grateful to be able to share with you a blessing received. As many of you wonderful readers know, my partner and I have walked a difficult path over the past several years: her deployment, Katrina, relocating, struggling to find jobs that will meet our needs, etc.
In the aftermath of her deployment to Iraq, my precious partner has suffered terribly with PTSD, panic attacks and agorophobia, as well as memory loss. It has been hard for her to find work she can do without those nightmarish disabilities causing severe problems. I'll grant, it has been difficult for both of us. And I admit to losing faith a few times along the way.
But we received wonderful news today. She received a check from the Veterans Administration for prescriptions based on her PTSD, etc. This means that those illnesses have been service-connected backdated to March, 2004. And that means that our long walk through the VA maze may be coming to a close. Over four years to give her the benefits for which she worked and fought is ridiculous to me. But we are more than relieved as this could not have come at a more critical time.
We were struggling today with how we would meet rent, utilities, loans, etc. There just didn't seem to be a friendly light at the end of the tunnel. We have found ourselves waiting for that light with apprehension of the oncoming train. But, I cannot stress enough how much of a weight is being lifted from our shoulders. I actually felt happy this afternoon. It's been a LONG time since I've relaxed enough to let that feeling back in.
What I've learned is that when we are at our weakest point (and this afternoon I reached my weakest point), the Goddess comes through with what we need. As I sought wisdom this afternoon, I cried out for relief. I told Goddess all of my fears and failures. I told Her of my desire to have peace; to live in peace. I didn't seek wealth, just an ability to pay bills and cover those "things" that happen to us in every day life; car repairs, doctor bills, veterinary care. We all have one of those lists.
I can't say that I'm a "believe it and receive it" type. The whole idea of seeking prosperity at the hands of a God or Goddess is foreign to me. But I can relate to the human condition of needs. We all have them. Food. Clothing. Shelter. We want to be able to reach beyond the stress to the finances we must have to live. Anything over and above that, to me, is to be used to help others. We weren't made to be hoarders of things, people, animals.
So if we receive blessings, we are to share them. As my partner and I rode around town today picking up the things we needed, we talked at length about who we needed to share the blessing with. Of course, our church is one place. We are focusing on unexpected income. And this blessing certainly qualifies. Therefore, we know we want to bless our church. There is a website and ministry that are dear to our hearts. They reach millions of people with the good word that those people are accepted and not rejected by God/Goddess. They will most definitely be blessed as we have been blessed. Another ministry has supported our ministry and they are in need of physical help with their building. They certainly will be blessed as we've been blessed.
I guess the long and short of this post is this: We are beyond thrilled and relieved that the light at the end of the tunnel is near. We are honored to be able to share this blessing with others; to pay it forward. And I think all of us, were we to subscribe to the idea of sharing the blessing, would find a whole lot more blessings in our lives.
Thanks to all who have prayed with and for us. Thanks to you who have provided us food, clothing, shelter, and gifts of money to pay bills. And great thanks to Goddess who provides for all of our needs--when we need it most!

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